The first step to greatness…

I can remember the feeling.  The room was dark, our hoods were up.  All the guys were jumping around, and you could feel their labored breathing.  I felt my heart slamming against the walls of my chest, and the knot further tightening within my stomach.  Just on the other side of the door was a packed house of family, friends, and foes.  The music started, the crowd roared, and we burst through the door….

This was a typical pre-match ritual my wrestling team went through before each home match.  I really think we went to great heights, even greater than our opponents, to increase our intensity.  We utilized lighting, sounds, smells, essentially all of our senses to increase the energy flow within the venue.  There was one flaw with our tactics….We never took the time to understand how to correctly interpret what we were experiencing.  My first varsity experience was when I was a 15 year old freshman.  I was wrestling at 167 lbs., (which may be the most populated weight class) and I was the largest out of all my other freshmen friends.  I was terrified, and had never experienced such fear in the sport I so loved.  I was confused by all this.  My first varsity match was with a senior, someone 3 years older than I.  I had to choke down the vomit that the butterflies in my stomach wanted to expel.  I was SCARED. That very moment began the momentum that would eventually lead to my gradual dislike for the sport I spent over a decade loving.  What had happened?  How could this have happened?

Prior to World War 1 people acted according to character ethics.  Character ethics state that one will integrate principles within their character.  Principles are natural laws that govern us all, and we inherently know right from wrong.  Having a principle center creates long term, concrete values that stem from within.  A principle center, coupled with the power of choice, create independent people who have an unwavering insane level of integrity, honesty, fairness and compassion for others.  These people are naturally interdependent.  Before contracts, and lawyers, and litigation man had a handshake and his word.  These two characteristic traits were more powerful than any contract ever written in history.

After World War 1 character ethics were subordinate to personality ethics.  According to the personality ethic, there are skills and techniques one may learn and a public image, personality and attitudes one may develop that result in success.  The major flaw with personality ethics is its basis on what I call “surface” techniques.  The belief that if you want to be something all you have to do is act the part.  For example the technique that if you want to be a positive person all you have to do is act positive.  This technique may yield temporary results, but in the long run one will revert back to their core beliefs.  I believe a great number of athletes within the American culture are suffering from personality ethics ideals.  They do not understand their core values, and perpetuate the vicious cycle of instituting surface techniques only to regress to their root behavior.  This cycle creates much pain and confusion.  This eventually leads to discouragement and rejection.

This is exactly what happened to me in high school.  I never took the time to understand my own core beliefs, mainly because I failed to notice it existed.  I bought into the personality ethics, and I tried to “think” my problems away.  I tried to gain mental toughness by acting the part, only to regress back to my fear.  Every time I regressed I reinforced the fear to the point of it becoming crippling.  This immense pain coupled with my confusion on what was happening led to self destruction.  I would spend more time and energy avoiding the pain rather than seek the answer to overcome it.  I couldn’t compete at the level I knew I was capable of and this downward spiral perpetuated for the remainder of my career in high school.  I rode the rollercoaster of excelling at matches I knew I would win, and struggling with tough competition, sometimes choking.

So in closing, ask yourself this one question:   What does the term, power of choice, mean to you?  This question will lead us into the change from the external, outside in personality ethics base to the internal, inside out personality ethics base.

Thanks,

Gerry