A new beginning

I believe that more top level athletes have some form of fear of failure.  In my opinion the athletes with the highest goals, highest standards, and highest expectations of themselves usually suffer from fear of failure the most.  These people usually tend to think in a pain avoidance mindset rather than a seek pleasure mindset.

I believe this is what I suffer from.  Last week during training I was struggling with some techniques and getting frustrated with myself.  My coach told me my technique was looking good and that I was just a perfectionist.  Then it dawned on me that I have had very high standards for myself my entire life, couple that with the pressure of everyone else expecting myself to perform at peak levels every time, it’s no wonder I developed a fear of failure.

I sit here writing this article slight anxiety has built up within me.  I have a sense of fear that this article will fail, and I can hear my inner voice warning me to not screw this up.  The fear that people who read this will find it to be garbage is stressful to me.  This exact scenario is played out during competitions.  Luckily I have a moderate level of mental toughness and I can usually push past the fear during competition.  Looking back at all my previous competitions I think the fear of failure has hindered me from competing at my highest level.

I am in the progress of incorporating a couple of Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques that I have learned reading Anthony Robbins’ “Unlimited Power”.

1. Determine the behavior you would like to change. (Fear of Failure)
2. Determine the external environmental trigger.  What is in the environment that triggers the undesired behavior? (The stress of competition)
3. Determine what internal modality is triggered?  Do you see a picture? (visual modality)  Do you hear a voice? (auditory modality)  Do you feel something? (kinesthetic modality) (I would visualize a compilation of past competitions where I lost.)
4. Determine what your overall reaction is to the aforementioned modality.  (I would create poisonous negative self-talk that would spawn greater fear, thus creating a downward spiral type loop, ultimately leading to what I feared most-failing.)

After all these discoveries are written down, we need to find a way to reframe our internal reaction to the external trigger.  What that means is that when the external trigger is present we want our internal reaction to be reframed to something that will result in a positive internal trigger.  So next we need to have a state of mind that will reframe our internal beliefs.

1. Determine what mind set we need to achieve in order to succeed at changing our behavior.  (Mine would be a high level of confidence in my abilities to compete and win)
2. Remember an experience from our past when we were in that desired mind-set and determine what type of internal reaction that was experienced and what exactly that experience was.  (Mine was the Empire State games when I took the Bronze medal in freestyle wrestling and I had a kinesthetic reaction of an unusual sense of calm, and confidence)
3. Then determine your overall reaction of how you felt, and what actions you took toward the external trigger.  (I performed at my highest level ever and had the most fun ever in my wrestling career)

Now you should have a written list of both the behavior you want to change and the behavior would like to replace it with.

Now the next steps are very simple, but they will be challenging. Every time you experience the external trigger, you need to acknowledge it and stop the internal modality reaction.  You will literally have to say “STOP” in your own head.  Next replace the initial modality reaction with the “good” reaction and keep running through you head all that is associated with that good modality.  This will change you overall reaction to the desired behavior.  These last steps can also be done without the external trigger being present.  Since our brains cannot tell the difference between real and imaginary, you can practice alone by yourself.  Imagine the external trigger, which will begin your old patterns.  At that point say “STOP” and start the new pattern.  Do this 20-30 times in a row every day for a month and I bet you will see amazing results.

This will not happen overnight and it is not easy to accomplish (but nothing worthwhile is ever easy right?), but with enough practice you will soon atrophy your old behavior and you will have reconditioned your mind.