So each time you are concerned about something always ask yourself what can you do to fix it.  If it is something that is absolutely out of your control, than you need to figure out how to live with it.  Spending precious mental energy on worrying about uncontrollable things is crazy.

Dan Gable prior to the 1972 Olympic Summer Games in Munich, would wake up in the middle of the night and say to himself “the Russians are training!” and he would do push-ups or sit-ups until he was exhausted again.  To me that is an amazing example of someone working within their circle of influence.  He made to conscious choice to take an outside stimulus like the Russians training which he had zero control over, and make it an internal choice to trump their training by training himself harder.  That is an extreme example of working from the inside out.  His concern of having undisputed victories was the catalyst for his choice to train so hard.

You can increase the size of your circle of influence by always being proactive.  Asking the right questions of yourself; doing what is principally right; working from your values; using you power of choice.  All these together will increase you circle of influence to the point where it may be the same size as your circle of concern.  Just remember their will be people out there that do not understand these tools, and might even resent or dislike your approach.  Don’t listen to them, just remember that inside you is all that matters.

So the next time you are concerned with something, make sure you understand where it lies within your circles.  Next, we will discuss emotions and how they should be utilized rather than ignored.

Thanks,

Gerry

So lets dig deeper into working with the end in mind.  What is so important about this concept, and how will it aid wrestlers?

1. When visualizing the end results, you need to use your imagination.  When you tap your creative energy you move from self-doubt into possibility.  Your creative mind only cares about what “can” happen not what won’t.  It does not know the definition of “can’t”.  Your mind does not discriminate between what is real and what is imagined.  So the more you operate at this energy level, the more your mind “see’s” you achieving your goal, the more confidence your “logical” mind receives to actually take action and pursue your goal.
2. When you visualize the end result, write down what it is.  Then think backwards about all the “milestones” you need to reach along the way.  Think in great detail, brainstorm everything and write it down.  Don’t worry if it seems like a bad idea, because the sorting will be done later.  When you write all the information down it creates an imprinted “booklet” in your cognitive mind, and the more you “see” the information, the more your mind believes it to be true.  As well as creating a cognitive link in your mind, you also have a visual aid or a road map to help if suddenly you get derailed or stalled along the way.
3. Lastly by creating this plan on paper it allows you to show it to your support staff.  When your support staff can see your ideas, they may even have some awesome ideas you never thought of.  This can lead to an even greater plan, and could open your mind to other possibilities.  This kind of joint effort is known as “synergy”, which by definition is the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual (1+1=3 idea).  This allows you to discuss your goals with your coach, parents, wife, girlfriend, whoever you have designated as your accountability partner.  Your accountability partner is essentially your milestone police; they are the one’s who will make sure you are staying on track, and kick your butt if your not.

In closing you would never drive somewhere strange without a road map, so why live your life without one?  Hopefully you now can see why planning your goals, writing them down and sharing them will help you achieve them.

Next we will discuss the circle of concern and the circle of influence and what they mean.

Thanks,

Gerry

What does the word proactive mean to you?  To me it means to be active first, to happen first.  It means to not wait for direction to take action, its action and result oriented behavior that’s done without direction.  This is where the wrestlers in my audience are going to start to have an “A-ha” moment.  How many wrestlers show up to practice and wait for the coach to tell you to start warming up?  How many guys out there show up to practice and start warming up before their coach tells them to?  I am betting that the majority wait for direction.  This is not your fault, we have lived in a society that conditions people to wait till they are told to take action.  This is an ideal that was created back when we moved from the agricultural age to the industrial age.  In industry machines do all the work and people operate the machines.  Since this is a repeatable task, and all the thought work had been taken out of it, people’s thoughts and talents don’t matter, they in essence are viewed as dumb objects that require management.  All that is needed is a supervisor to oversee everything.  One “coach” to take care of all the workers.  This thought process slowly crept into our psyche and conditioned us to handle every aspect of our lives in that same fashion.  We simply wait for directions.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are times when you need to wait for direction, but a majority of the time you do not.

This is where proactivity changes the rules of the game.  YOU know what needs to be done to achieve at your sport, so be proactive and do what needs to be done.  A coach is there only to support YOU, and to help YOU when YOU need it.  Remember that YOU have a choice to take YOUR wrestling to the next level.  No one else is going to do it for you.  No one else is going to make your choices for you.  So a proactive approach to your career might be to determine where YOU want to be.  Do you want to be a conference champion, state champion, national champion, olympic champion?  Whatever it may be you need to acknowledge where you want to be.  Once you know where you want to go then think backwards and WRITE DOWN every milestone that needs to be achieved along the way to get to your ultimate goal.  This is called working with the end in mind.  When you work with the end in mind, you are forcing your brain to encounter every obstacle you may encounter.  When you “reverse” engineer your career, you take the guess work out of what needs to be done.  This will further push your proactivity by pushing you to do what needs to be done to achieve your goals.  Every great champion does not wait for directions, because they already know what direction they need to go in.  They just require the support of others to get there.

All this can only be achieved by being proactive.  If you wait for someone to tell you what to do, you already missed the boat.  Maybe use the slogan I use…..The world doesn’t happen to me, I happen to the world!!!  So now you have a few tools to get started.  You now have a different view of yourself and your career.  You have taken back control of yourself, and are taking responsibility for your actions.  What you do with it is your choice….

Next I will elaborate on the working with the end in mind, as well as talk about your circle of influence and your circle of concern.

Thanks,

Gerry

A second thing happened that day as well.  As I was asking myself a series of questions (which the question topic will be discussed at a later date) on how to get past my pain, my brain responded with “You have a choice, stupid!!”  THAT very answer stirred up a lot of very scary, confusing emotions.  At that very moment I realized I was solely responsible for what had and is happening in my life.  I have no one else to blame for me, and had to build the CHARACTER to handle this new found discovery.  I could no longer allow people to anger myself, as I had a choice.  I no longer had to do things I did not want to do, I had a choice.

Certainly there a several times our choices are made for us, but that is usually determined by what the consequences (both good and bad) will be.  Some will argue that going to work or school is not by our choice.  Yet, it truly is our choice, but we usually make that choice without thought.  That is because the consequences of our choice have greater influence than the choice we are making.  What I mean is if you choose to not go to work, the consequence may be to not get paid or get fired.  The thought of that consequence may create more pain within you, than actually getting up and going to work.  I call that a consequence driven choice, and we deal with many of them on a daily basis.  At the same time, when you are presented with a consequence driven choice, you can make a conscious effort to acknowledge it, and understand that you still have a choice.  That very thought will enlighten and empower you and probably put a smile on your face.

Now I know that the wrestlers in the audience are probably asking what this all has to do with wrestling, and mental preperations and the sort, but trust me, this will all get tied together in the near future.  When it does, you will have what I call an “A-ha” moment, where the light in your head comes on and you see your world around you in a whole different light.

I will leave you with an exercise that will truly help you out.  For the next 21 days (how many days it takes to create solid habits) try to make better choices.  The way to do this is when you are presented with a choice, stop for a minute, think about it, and then make the best choice you can.  Now if it comes down to what to eat, or what clothes to where, don’t spend any time on it as those are irrelevant.  Any serious matter requires the power of choice.  It will be difficult for a while, but you will notice it is well worth it.

Our next discussion will be based on dependent people and how to move to independency by being proactive.

thanks,

Gerry

This was a typical pre-match ritual my wrestling team went through before each home match.  I really think we went to great heights, even greater than our opponents, to increase our intensity.  We utilized lighting, sounds, smells, essentially all of our senses to increase the energy flow within the venue.  There was one flaw with our tactics….We never took the time to understand how to correctly interpret what we were experiencing.  My first varsity experience was when I was a 15 year old freshman.  I was wrestling at 167 lbs., (which may be the most populated weight class) and I was the largest out of all my other freshmen friends.  I was terrified, and had never experienced such fear in the sport I so loved.  I was confused by all this.  My first varsity match was with a senior, someone 3 years older than I.  I had to choke down the vomit that the butterflies in my stomach wanted to expel.  I was SCARED. That very moment began the momentum that would eventually lead to my gradual dislike for the sport I spent over a decade loving.  What had happened?  How could this have happened?

Prior to World War 1 people acted according to character ethics.  Character ethics state that one will integrate principles within their character.  Principles are natural laws that govern us all, and we inherently know right from wrong.  Having a principle center creates long term, concrete values that stem from within.  A principle center, coupled with the power of choice, create independent people who have an unwavering insane level of integrity, honesty, fairness and compassion for others.  These people are naturally interdependent.  Before contracts, and lawyers, and litigation man had a handshake and his word.  These two characteristic traits were more powerful than any contract ever written in history.

After World War 1 character ethics were subordinate to personality ethics.  According to the personality ethic, there are skills and techniques one may learn and a public image, personality and attitudes one may develop that result in success.  The major flaw with personality ethics is its basis on what I call “surface” techniques.  The belief that if you want to be something all you have to do is act the part.  For example the technique that if you want to be a positive person all you have to do is act positive.  This technique may yield temporary results, but in the long run one will revert back to their core beliefs.  I believe a great number of athletes within the American culture are suffering from personality ethics ideals.  They do not understand their core values, and perpetuate the vicious cycle of instituting surface techniques only to regress to their root behavior.  This cycle creates much pain and confusion.  This eventually leads to discouragement and rejection.

This is exactly what happened to me in high school.  I never took the time to understand my own core beliefs, mainly because I failed to notice it existed.  I bought into the personality ethics, and I tried to “think” my problems away.  I tried to gain mental toughness by acting the part, only to regress back to my fear.  Every time I regressed I reinforced the fear to the point of it becoming crippling.  This immense pain coupled with my confusion on what was happening led to self destruction.  I would spend more time and energy avoiding the pain rather than seek the answer to overcome it.  I couldn’t compete at the level I knew I was capable of and this downward spiral perpetuated for the remainder of my career in high school.  I rode the rollercoaster of excelling at matches I knew I would win, and struggling with tough competition, sometimes choking.

So in closing, ask yourself this one question:   What does the term, power of choice, mean to you?  This question will lead us into the change from the external, outside in personality ethics base to the internal, inside out personality ethics base.

Thanks,

Gerry

I will discuss how our psyche works by introducing the four intelligences of the body whole and how each contribute to who we are.  Mind (IQ), Body (PQ), Heart (EQ), and Soul (SQ) when properly balanced will create a synergistic experience that will allow one to operate with great power, in essence work within “the zone”.

I will also discuss why I believe modern sports psychology will not deliver consistent results; how one can be physically fit yet not healthy; why suppressing ones emotions can lead to catastrophic failure; how to move from dependent to independent to interdependent, and what those moves mean and why those moves are crucial;  how esoteric (external)  motivators can actually hinder one’s progress;  a system that will clear the mind of all nagging thoughts so that total focus on the task at hand can be achieved; why many fall short of their goals, and a system to simplify goal setting and achievement.

I hope you join me on this journey to greatness.  I am not a professional psychologist so these posts are my opinions and I look forward to your comments.  Please keep your comments professional and constructive in nature.  I will not tolerate bad language or slander.  Good luck

Gerry