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Why are so many of us procrastinators?  Are we lazy?  Usually not.  Are we bad people? No.  So why do so many of us push off the tasks we know need to be completed in order to forge ahead?

These questions have been on my mind for quite some time.  I recently wrote Habits Can Make or Break You: The Definitive Guide to Success which touched on the system I use to create the habits that will support achieving my goals.  I feel it is a simple, effective way to finally move forward.  But I fear there may be a problem…

Many will never take the first step to incorporate the system, and will continue to run on the hamster wheel of life spinning into oblivion.  Others will jump in with both feet and completely change their routine because the “system” is the only way, only to lose steam after only a few days or weeks.

Whatever the scenerio, both end up in a crash and burn fashion, leaving people with a bad taste in their mouth.  They blame the system rather than blaming their behaviors. Procrastination is a powerful HABIT that effects many people and robs a lifetime of dreams.

Why do so many possess this habit?  Does procrastination really serve a purpose in our lives, or is it a bad habit like smoking?

I believe procrastination has resulted from a combination of simply not knowing the next step and either a fear of success or failure.  Couple that with mis-prioritized poorly planned tasks and it is no wonder procrastination is rampant.

Even though I have developed the habit of working from a list every single day, I still find myself putting off some things on that list.  After reflecting on the tasks that constantly get put off I have determined that every task falls into the following categories of why they get passed over.

• They are too vague in description: For example, “Work on finances” is a task on my list today.  Every time I glance at it, it creates a mild discomfort like something is missing.  It’s painful, and it will probably not get completed.
• They may be insignificant and unworthy:  Sometimes a task may not be worth even doing at all.  Many times we get caught up in insignificant “busy” work that does not bring us value, and does not move us forward .  Often times these tasks are someone else’s emergency due to poor planning, and you are their solution.  Their emergency becomes your emergency.
• A prior mistake was made:  Sometimes we procrastinate on certain tasks because we have made a mistake on a similar task before.  Maybe we were disciplined harshly for it, or it cost us something of value and we have become gun shy.
• Just plain overwhelmed by expecting to much:  This is a big one, and is usually my main problem. “Biting off more than you can chew” is the best way to describe it.  I tend to over-estimate how much I can finish in a day.  If I have too many tasks, I revert to doing the minor “quick” tasks and push off the big tasks I really should be focusing on.

Now that I have finished my 28 Day Challenge, I have decided to undertake another fitness goal that is way outside my comfort zone.

All throughout my adolescent athletic career, lifting was one of the weakest of my many undertakings.  I was never excited about lifting and only did it under pressure from my various coaches.  Even when I did enter the weight room, it was never consistent and sporadic at best.

The main reason it never stuck was because at that point in time (1991-1994) lifting was done with the “muscle isolation” technique.  A majority of exercises that were utilized focused on a single joint movement to isolate a specific muscle (think arm curls and leg curls).  I think the theory behind it was that the more attention given to a specific muscle made it grow stronger, faster.  Now, I am not a lifting expert, so it could have been partially true because some of my peers had great success with it.

The problem I had with it, was that it consumed a lot of time to work in this focus.  It would require me to lift 4-5 times a week for nearly 2 hours each day (8-10 hours a week in the gym?).  I really did not want to spend that much time in the gym so I opted not to. Well that led to me being uncomfortable in the gym even to this day.

A little over a year ago I ran into a great friend and a highly motivating person.  His name is Dickie White and he owns Ironworks Gym in Binghamton, NY. I met him when I began training Mixed Martial Arts at CNYMMA since they share the same facility.

Dickie is a highly educated individual in developing huge amounts of strength. Plus the beauty thing is he practices what he preaches, as he has dominated his first 3 amateur fights in MMA by ending the bouts all within the first round.  He knows what he is talking about, not just because he read a book, but because he trains his own body, as well as the bodies of many very successful wrestlers from the junior high school level all the way up to the collegiate and U.S. Olympic and World team levels.  He has also developed a few programs that can be purchased and used on your own if you cannot get a chance to train with him personally. One program in particular was developed with Tamden “The Barn Cat” McCrory who fought and dominated in UFC 96 and is currently staging a comeback.  As a matter of fact I promote one of his products on the greatnessinsideout Resources Page.  (Check it out!)

Now that we have Dickie’s background out of the way (which is quite extensive), I want to talk about the program he has developed for me.  I am a pretty busy person who has limited time (I am a husband and the father of 3 children), and limited patience as well.  I like things to move along quickly and really need to move along efficiently or I get impatient. The program Dickie developed consists of lifting 2 days a week, and each day has between 6-7 exercises that work out the ENTIRE body, and get this, it only takes an hour to complete!  Talk about quick and effective, right up my ally!  So how is this possible? How can you get a total body workout with only 2 hours of weekly gym time and be ready for a POWER LIFTING COMPETITION in only 14 weeks?

The answer is extremely simple.  It’s called multi-joint exercises that utilize very heavy lifting.  The old paradigm of muscle isolation and a lot of reps are over.  Dickie explained to me that lifting something very heavy even just one time is the equivalent of lifting lighter stuff 3-5 times (even more efficient, awesome!).  Weight is the key, more so than the quantity of repetitions.  Of course the technique has to be correct as well so I don’t risk injury.

Some of the tools of the trade consist of sandbags, medicine balls, atlas stones, and even chains and giant rubber bands!  Add to that the flipping of giant tractor tires and it is quickly apparent that this style is totally outside the realm of what most deem “normal” weight training.  Some of the old fashioned exercises are still highly effective like bench presses, squats, and dead lifts and really are still the staple of this type of training.

I would like everyone to follow me over the next 14 weeks as I will be posting my progress on here weekly (including pics).  Also check out Dickie’s programs and buy them, or if you live near Binghamton, NY, schedule some time to talk with him (you can reach him here).  Most of all, create a goal that is WAY outside your comfort zone, something that scares the hell out of you and then do it.  Also read my article on the power of Habit Forming and you will thank me later.

Please comment on your comfort zone goal below or “Like” my Facebook page and tell the community what your going to accomplish this year and then DO IT!

Thanks,

Gerry

Welcome back everyone!  I have been very busy the last couple of months and have put writing on the back burner.

Yesterday (8/7/2011) I finished up my self proclaimed “28 Day Challenge”.

Mark Rockwell

This challenge was basically me training for the Kelly LeBare 5K Race. Roughly 28 days ago my long time friend Mark Rockwell challenged me on Facebook to compete in this race.  He is having a fantastic journey, (click on his name above and READ it. It’s a true story of guts and determination!) and has motivated me to step out of my physical comfort zone to shock my system. (It couldn’t have come at a better time!)

Stepping out of your comfort zone

I have never been a big time runner, and my view of running was something you did to train for wrestling. Short sprints, and running to failure and exhaustion was the basis of running. Sure, I ran 5Ks during the triathlons I competed in, but I never took running seriously, and never trained consistently at it.  This was going to be a major shift in my physical paradigm, and really required a different way of thinking from me.  (Thus the shift in comfort zone).

SMART goals are not as smart as your habits.

Along with this 28 day challenge I decided to try a mental challenge as well.  I realized there is a correlation to achieving goals and forming supporting habits.  Now, this is by no means a new idea and the goal setting “experts” have been talking about habits and goals for quite some time.  I believe these experts just delivered the idea in the wrong order. I think the traditional concept of SMART goal setting is too complicated and clunky to be successful.  In addition to the “clunkyness”, I feel it assumes that once the idea and the steps are identified, it will be done on shear “WILL”.  Willpower is an exhaustible resource in my eyes because forcing yourself to do something will eventually return less and less positive results as time goes on.  (Think New Years Resolutions!)  I believe cultivating the habits that will support your goal pursuit are far more effective than any super complicated goal achievement plan.

Worry about perfecting only after you get started!

So I decided to put my theory to the test by creating a 28 day challenge.  I did not spend any time planning or structuring it.  I just started doing whatever felt right and adjusted my course to fit my needs.  I basically made it up as I went along and here is what I discovered.

Habits are solely the greatest tool you can cultivate in order to achieve success!

I have been fighting a losing battle to an addiction to tobacco for the majority of my life. Addictions are basically habits coupled with physical dependence.  I wanted to put the theory of using a habit to change a habit to the test and decided to consciously quit nicotine and replace it with exercise by linking both habits in my mind and tracking the results daily.

Parallel to my “habit for habit” theory, I began testing another habit theory based on task

My Daily List

planning.  Have you ever heard the saying, “Plan your work and work you plan”?  If not, it’s extremely powerful to spend a few minutes planning out your day in advance.  By planning I mean figuring out the most important tasks that move you further in your life’s goals.  I know we all have daily tasks that require our attention, but many end up making those the bulk of their day and never make the important “moving forward” tasks a priority. According to Anthony Robbins, ”Most people fail in life because they major in minor things.”

Every morning I woke up, just after brewing my morning coffee, I would sit down and write down my daily task list.  At first, I had to consciously remind myself to do this, to put pen to paper and “think about the important stuff”. Luckily is was very easy to do, and it was fun for me to do it (I am a notorious list maker by nature).  After about 6-7 days I realized that instinctively I was reaching for my list without even thinking about it.  I became very excited that a positive habit could take hold so quickly.  I attribute the success to a couple of factors:

1. Consistent, daily practice of the habit:  I did it directly after making my coffee (also a habit) and…
2. I would reward myself by checking that off the list every day.  (Habit forming should be part of your daily list of tasks to do.

After the second full week of my daily list habit, I felt I needed a “recap”, a review of my progress, so I decided to incorporate a weekly review/look ahead habit.  This habit has been quick to develop because I think it “piggy backs” the list habit and gets absorbed and included.  (Piggy backing may be another strategy that I am going to experiment with). The reviews allow me to track my progress, and it sparks ideas for the future.  It essentially gets me to plan the future by recalling what I finished in the past.  While reviewing and planning, I can begin to see if any future habits will need to be created, or quite possibly eliminating bad habits I already possess.

I can safely say that 28 days later I have developed 4 distinct positive habits that, although in infancy stage and require daily conditioning, are indeed on auto-pilot and support the behaviors I will need to succeed in any goal I decide to pursue.

In summary, when your goal has been decided on:

1. Begin by working from a list every day. (First and greatest habit in my opinion, and will support any goal you have in life!)
2. Determine what habits (unconscious behavior) will best support your goals.  If you have bad habits (smoking, drinking, junk food), consciously replace that habit with a healthy positive habit (running, walking, biking).  All you have to do is mentally tell yourself, “I want to replace smoking with running, and tell yourself that every time you find yourself craving a smoke, or you decide to feel like running.
3. Write those habits on your daily list, and cross them off every time you complete them. (Don’t forget to include the “list habit” as well!)
4. Create the weekly review/look ahead habit and do it once a week.
5. Most of all enjoy the progress, and the challenge.  Also remember to focus on the big picture and if you hick-up one day acknowledge it, blow it off and move on. These are lifelong habits and one day here and there are not going to destroy the grand scheme of things.

Websters definition of a belief: A state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing. Our personal beliefs, both powering and dis-empowering, are based on our personal references or life experiences.  All throughout our lives, we experience first hand, many things that our subconscious files away for later reference.  The problem is we do not control “what” is referenced because we may not be aware of or even in control of “what”.  We go through life experiencing hap-hazard references that may not be how we intended them to be interpreted.  All these little references begin to build one large belief and we hope it will empower us.  These types of references are know as first-hand because you experience them yourself.

A second type of reference that adds to a “belief” are second-hand references.  These you may get from reading books, surfing the web, watching TV, or listening to friends.  Once again if we are not careful we can pick up negative references from outside sources that can lead to dis-empowering beliefs.  In the book, “Choices and Illusions: How did I get where I am, and how do I get where I want to be?” by Eldon Taylor, he tells a story about a female Eagle named Nina who as a chick fell from her nest and wandered into a chicken coupe.  She was adopted by an older Hen and learned the ways of the chickens.  She learned how to scratch the earth, dig for grubs and be a good overall chicken.    Through second-hand references she believed she was a chicken even though she did not “feel” like one.  She often wondered why she could not lay eggs and all the other hens consoled her and told her, “in time Nina your body will catch up, you just needed to try harder; after all your biological mother failed you and didn’t teach you how to be a chicken”, and “that it wasn’t her fault”.  So overtime she developed many references that created a deep belief that she was a chicken and she went through life not knowing her true potential she possessed as an Eagle.  One day a male eagle spotted Nina and descended on the chicken yard and cornered Nina.  Trapped by the male eagle, Nina crouched down in fear, almost paralyzed by her expectation.  The male eagle asked “What are you doing here? Your an Eagle, you should be soaring through the sky on great adventures, not nesting with chickens.”  Nina being a smart “chicken” had an idea and said to the eagle, “If I am an Eagle that can soar through the sky, and do amazing things, then you’re not going to hurt me?”.  ”No” said the male Eagle, “of course not – what nonsense is that?”.  ”Well, then,” Nina confidently added, “show me. Step aside so I could leave if I choose to.”  The male Eagle stepped aside and Nina seized the opportunity and made best of her plan and ran straight for the chicken house.  Once inside she told the chickens how she outsmarted the dumb old Eagle.  They all laughed and rewarded her with chicken appreciation, “You’re such a smart chicken Nina!”  You have probably figured out the point of the story that second-hand references can be very dangerous and dis-empowering when enough of them create a great belief.

The third type of reference are imagined-references.  These references do not actually happen, they are created in your mind through your thoughts.  Since you sub-conscious mind cannot distinguish between imaginary and reality, if you think something enough it can start to become true as a reference.  In his book “The winning mind set” by Kevin Seaman, he makes reference to Roger Bannister who was the first person to run a mile in under 4 minutes.  At the time many deemed it impossible, but Roger Bannister used imagined-references to help achieve his goal.  He would put a piece of paper in his running shoes with 3:58 written on it.  Since he had zero first-hand references to his goal, since he had never done it, and since no one else had ever done it, he had zero second-hand references.  He was left with his imagination, and once again our subconscious mind does not know the difference between real or imagined, he started to build up enough references that he “knew” he could beat the record.  He pursued his goal in small bites by shaving seconds of the clock on each run.  He would tell himself, “If I can run the mile in 3 minutes 59 seconds, I know I can do it in 3 minutes 58 seconds, after all its only one second.”  You can see the power of imagined-references and how your imagination can aid in building your belief system.

Next, lets talk about how to control, change, and create the belief system that will help achieve your goals, rather than hinder them.  Tony Robbins compares beliefs to a table.  A table without legs is basically a piece of wood on the floor and is the equivalent of an opinion.  If you add legs to it, it becomes a useful, sturdy piece of furniture and thus a belief.  Think of your beliefs as the top of the table and all your references as the table legs.  The more references you have, the more legs your table has, thus making it more sturdy and harder to collapse.  Since our beliefs can be powering or dis-empowering, when they have many “legs” they become unwavering and this can be bad news for negative beliefs that we would like to change.  Luckily there is a way, that is simple to comprehend, but it will take some work to succeed.

Here are the steps to changing you belief system to align with achieving your goals.

1. Become aware of your belief system. You need to figure out what beliefs are hindering yourself first.  This may sound obvious but many beliefs go unnoticed or can be conflicting in nature.  This will almost always sabotage your goals.  If you have ever attempted to achieve a goal and given up on it, you need to go back and think about “why”.  Ask yourself why you gave up on it.  Was it too hard?  Did you think you weren’t good enough?  Imagine yourself at the very moment you gave up and recall what you said to yourself.  What dialogue did you use that triggered the give up mentality.  The answer you uncover is the negative belief that you must demolish in order to change for the better.
2. Start to challenge the references to the belief. Do you find yourself saying “I can’t!”, or “I’m not good enough; tall enough; strong enough; fast enough; etc?”, or “That doesn’t happen to people like me.”?  These are references to an overall dis-belief in yourself.  It’s time to challenge those reference.  By asking questions about each reference and then writing your answer down, you will create skepticism in that reference.  For example, ask the question, “What part of this action can’t I do and why?  Is it really the whole action I can’t do or just a specific part?  Is it the unfamiliar that is scaring me?”  As you keep asking these types of questions the truth will soon surface and pinpoint the truth to the negative references.  Once the pinpoint has been made, often it ends up being very minuscule and very manageable.  The key is to wheedle it down to its smallest part.
3. Find the bright spots and give them power. Determine if there are any empowering first or second-hand references and reinforce them.  (I use the term “bright spots” quite often because of the extremely positive visual it paints in my head.)  Reinforcement is done by also asking the right questions and writing them down.  Asking such questions as, “Have I ever accomplished something similar before, and if yes, how did I handle it?”, or, “What was my most amazing accomplishment, and how did I go about doing it?”.  People tend to focus more on the negatives in life rather than the positives.  This forces you to think about the positives and with practice will get easier.
4. Imagine the results of giving in to dis-empowering beliefs. This step will take some forward thinking by imagining what you will feel like if you decide to give in to you negative beliefs.  Close your eyes and really focus on what you will look like, how you will feel, and what you will think about yourself if you give in to you negative self.  A majority of people do not forward think about their lives as negative, because it is painful.  We leave it up to chance and hope our lives will be enjoyable.  For the most part it is, but everyone has at least one dream that if isn’t accomplished creates pain.  It’s called the “shoulda, woulda, coulda’s” and everyone has at least one.  The forward thinking will create pain, hopefully enough pain that it will force yourself to take action, to confront your fears and push through to victory.
5. Visualize success in your future. Since your subconscious cannot distinguish between imagination and reality, visualize major success by pushing your imagined self closer and closer to victory.  Since we know that first hand references (our experiences) support our beliefs, which dictate our view of what we can effectively do, and the results of what we do create more personal first-hand references, wouldn’t it make sense to “think” about “doing” and “achieving” more “results” to create imagined-references.  After all imagined-references create table legs too.

There you go, a five step process to changing your hindering beliefs.  Once again these are simple methods, but they are not effective without work and action.  Without action, you only have knowledge, and knowledge without action results in everything staying the same.  So get up, get a pen, and sit down in a comfy chair and get to work, and you will thank me.

O.k., here we go, our first story…

About 5 weeks ago I got an Email on my Facebook page.  This person had introduced themselves as the program director at CNYMMA, a mixed martial arts school.  A while back I had befriended them on Facebook and discussed the possibility of trying them out.  Like most people I procrastinated and said, “I’ll call them tomorrow”, and everyday it was always “tomorrow”.

The new program director was different.  I was at work when she called, and I recognized the number, so I answered. (Which anyone who knows me personally, I don’t answer my phone too much.)  I can’t explain why, but I did.  She introduced herself and the first thing she asked was “What are your goals?”.  I have never had anyone ask me that question.  I was kind of caught off guard, and had to take a minute to think.  I then realized that even though I had goals, they really weren’t concrete.  I had to actually think about it, rather than rattle them off quickly.

So, after some thought, I explained my goals to her.  She didn’t waste anytime and asked when I wanted to take my free introductory class.  Once again, she caught me off guard, and I had to think quickly.  So I answered “whenever, anytime after 4pm” (that’s what time I leave work), and at that moment I was committed, there was no backing out now, I was stuck.  So, she quickly came back with, “How about tonight at 6:45?”  Boy this girl was good!  Caught off guard again.  So of course, now freshly committed, I said “Sure.”

6:30pm that night I arrived at the gym with a thousand things racing through my mind.  The thought of just ditching the whole idea came to mind quite a few times.  I was extremely nervous, and my confidence level was in the basement.  I walked in and introduced myself, and we went into her office.  We began to talk about my background, my family, my dreams, my fears and just about everything in between.  It was great to be able to talk with someone about myself, and have them get excited for me.

She began to explain the history of CNYMMA, and what their mission was.  They are committed to setting and achieving goals.  They believe in setting a huge goal, and breaking it down into little weekly goals.  As well as setting goals they encourage tracking them as well.  I felt in good hands, and the excitement was building, until she threw me to the wolves….

Practice started, and I fell in line (in the back of the room of course).  We warmed up, the typical stuff, and stretched.  Then we partnered up and the instructor began showing us some punching combos.  WHOLLY COW, me eyes got as big as the sun.  “How am I gonna do this?”, I thought to myself.  Well, I had a partner with some experience and I caught on pretty quickly.  All in all the night was a success, and I signed on right on the spot.

5 weeks later, and I have set a major goal for next summer of competing in my first full contact fight.  This long term goal has spawned many smaller sub-goals as well.  Diet change, mental conditioning, weight training, goal tracking.  These are things I have never considered before, and they are very empowering.

So the moral to this story is basically, when you want to try something, don’t give it too much thought.  Our minds have a way of talking us out of things.  It does this to keep us safe, because the “unknown” is inherently dangerous to us.  Also, if you want to make a change, you need to “clear the path”, and make the transition smooth and unobstructed.  This excellent book by the Heath Brothers explains how to make change easier.

The program director, made my decisions easy, because she cleared the path.  She forced me to commit, and didn’t accept any “I will need to think about it” answers.  But you don’t need someone to make you commit.  Think about a change you want to make, or something you want to try, and determine the next action, do it, and take the baby steps to get there.  Don’t think about details, you can figure those out along the way.  Just keep the big picture in mind and live big.

thanks,

Gerry

OK, so you have an understanding of proactivity and a basic idea of working with the end in mind.  Awesome, you now have an edge over your competition.  We still have a long way to go, but remember that the journey is just as important as the destination.

So lets dig deeper into working with the end in mind.  What is so important about this concept, and how will it aid wrestlers?

1. When visualizing the end results, you need to use your imagination.  When you tap your creative energy you move from self-doubt into possibility.  Your creative mind only cares about what “can” happen not what won’t.  It does not know the definition of “can’t”.  Your mind does not discriminate between what is real and what is imagined.  So the more you operate at this energy level, the more your mind “see’s” you achieving your goal, the more confidence your “logical” mind receives to actually take action and pursue your goal.
2. When you visualize the end result, write down what it is.  Then think backwards about all the “milestones” you need to reach along the way.  Think in great detail, brainstorm everything and write it down.  Don’t worry if it seems like a bad idea, because the sorting will be done later.  When you write all the information down it creates an imprinted “booklet” in your cognitive mind, and the more you “see” the information, the more your mind believes it to be true.  As well as creating a cognitive link in your mind, you also have a visual aid or a road map to help if suddenly you get derailed or stalled along the way.
3. Lastly by creating this plan on paper it allows you to show it to your support staff.  When your support staff can see your ideas, they may even have some awesome ideas you never thought of.  This can lead to an even greater plan, and could open your mind to other possibilities.  This kind of joint effort is known as “synergy”, which by definition is the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual (1+1=3 idea).  This allows you to discuss your goals with your coach, parents, wife, girlfriend, whoever you have designated as your accountability partner.  Your accountability partner is essentially your milestone police; they are the one’s who will make sure you are staying on track, and kick your butt if your not.

In closing you would never drive somewhere strange without a road map, so why live your life without one?  Hopefully you now can see why planning your goals, writing them down and sharing them will help you achieve them.

Next we will discuss the circle of concern and the circle of influence and what they mean.

Thanks,

Gerry

I began wrestling in 3rd grade, and as I look back on my 14 yr career I am grateful for the lifelong lessons I have learned from it.  I have decided to give back to a sport that has given me so much, by helping wrestlers achieve greatness in not only wrestling, but life.  Each post I write will dig deeper into the human psyche and really get to the root of how champions really think and behave.  Champions like Rulan Gardner, Bruce Baumgartner, Dan Gable, Tom and Terry Brands and a whole host of others.

I will discuss how our psyche works by introducing the four intelligences of the body whole and how each contribute to who we are.  Mind (IQ), Body (PQ), Heart (EQ), and Soul (SQ) when properly balanced will create a synergistic experience that will allow one to operate with great power, in essence work within “the zone”.

I will also discuss why I believe modern sports psychology will not deliver consistent results; how one can be physically fit yet not healthy; why suppressing ones emotions can lead to catastrophic failure; how to move from dependent to independent to interdependent, and what those moves mean and why those moves are crucial;  how esoteric (external)  motivators can actually hinder one’s progress;  a system that will clear the mind of all nagging thoughts so that total focus on the task at hand can be achieved; why many fall short of their goals, and a system to simplify goal setting and achievement.

I hope you join me on this journey to greatness.  I am not a professional psychologist so these posts are my opinions and I look forward to your comments.  Please keep your comments professional and constructive in nature.  I will not tolerate bad language or slander.  Good luck

Gerry